The “F” Word
I hate to fail, I’ll be the first to admit it. I mean, does anyone really like experiencing failure? I doubt it. Although it’s something all athletes try their hardest to avoid, failure is an inevitable part of each and every one of our stories. At some point or another, every human being on the planet will experience failure. It is part of the human experience, and it is unavoidable. Failure is a natural part of sport and life, and is how we grow, as athletes and as people. So, if none of us get through life without failing, why do we all try so hard to avoid it? If we are all going to fail at one point or another, what would happen if we actually tried to embrace our failures, rather than deny, ignore, or be embarrassed by them? What if we stopped viewing failure as “bad” but rather potential positive learning opportunities? Instead of running away from our failures, what happens if we run towards them? Let’s take a look at some strategies to reframe our thinking and perspectives around failure.
- Find the lesson
In every failure there is a lesson. Failing is where we learn our life’s greatest lessons. Once we accept that failure is an unavoidable part of our journey, we open the door to growth. Ask yourself what you learned from this failure and how can you change it. Had a terrible shooting night? Grab a rebounder and get in the gym. Turned the ball over too many times? Watch film and figure out what is causing them. Let your match up score +20 points? Ask a teammate to play 1v1 and work on your on ball defence. Messed up the plays during the game? Get a coach or teammate and ask them to walk through them with you. Find measurable steps to take to be better next time. You only fail if you don’t learn from it. Failure is an opportunity for growth!
- Dare to suck
Basketball is a game of mistakes. Even the best players in the world have failed, over and over again. In fact, they have actually have failed more. What makes the greatest players great is the fact they are not AFRAID to fail. The sooner we accept that failure is an inevitable part of our journey as athletes, the quicker we open ourselves up to growth. So, dare to suck. If you don’t make mistakes, you’re not pushing yourself hard enough. Be brave, get outside your comfort zone, and don’t be afraid to make mistakes. If you play with a fear of failure, you have already lost. Do not let the fear of failure hold you back from reaching your full potential. As the great Kobe Bryant once famously quoted “Failure Doesn’t Exist – it is only a figment of your imagination. Win or loose, good game or bad game, the story continues- the only way it’s a failure is if you don’t learn from it.” By welcoming failure, we actually strip the word of its power and better prepare ourselves for when life comes at us. By committing to this growth mindset and actively choosing to learn valuable lessons from our shortcomings, we give ourselves the opportunity to not only become better players, but better people.
- Show yourself grace
If you do have a bad game, show yourself some grace. Not saying this is always easy (I can tell you it’s not), but beating yourself up is not going to help the situation. A crucial part of dealing with failure is staying mentally strong and not getting discouraged. When we fail, we reveal our true character, so make sure it is one that you are proud of when you look in the mirror. Show accountability while also being gentle with yourself. Remind yourself that failure is part of the process and use it as motivation to do better next time. Try your hardest to always REMAIN POSITIVE! “Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.” Keep your head high and don’t let your mistakes define who you are as a person. With that said, don’t lose perspective. At the end of the day, remind yourself that you are playing a game. Win or lose, the sun will always come up in the morning. The world is not coming to an end if you have a bad game. Never let your highs get you too high or lows get you too low!
That wasn’t so bad, right? By reframing our failures, we find out that they aren’t so scary after all. In fact, they are nothing more than disguised learning opportunities. When we face our failures head on, our failures do not have control of us – we control them. When we accept and embrace our failures, we open ourselves up to finding some of life’s greatest lessons. Without failure, we would never learn. Without failure, we wouldn’t appreciate our successes. Without failure, we would never grow as athletes, or people. Every failure is a lesson, it is never a loss. The best version of yourself is on the other side of failure!